RIDICULOUS RIDDLES

Q. Why are non-fluorescent light bulbs called "Peruvian"?
A. Because they are Incan descent.

Q. Why did the cat walking in the desert die?
A. Because when he looked down he saw Sandy Claws, and froze to death.

Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claus-trophobic.

Q. What is a logarithm?
A. The tune a mathematician sings while cutting down trees.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Q. When is a door not a door?
A. When it is ajar.

Q. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A. Sanka.

Q. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A. Nacho cheese.

Q. What kind of boat did Dracula buy?
A. A blood vessel.

Q. What do you call Santa's helpers?
A. Subordinate Clauses.

Q. What is the best advice to give to a worm?
A. Sleep late!

Q. How can you make a glow worm happy?
A. Cut off his tail -- he'll be de-lighted.

Q. What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
A. Chimney Cricket.

Q. How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
A. Ten ants.

Q. What is the demon's favorite TV show?
A. Fiends.

Q. What is the best way to get rid of demons?
A. Exorcise regularly.

Q. What do demons eat at breakfast?
A. Deviled eggs.

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with Al Capone?
A. A fangster.

Q. What is a penguin's favorite salad?
A. Iceberg lettuce.

Q. Who is the penguin's favorite aunt?
A. Aunt Artica.

Q. What do you get when you cross a penguin with an alligator?
A. I don't know, but don't try to straighten its bow tie.

Q. Did Eve ever have a date with Adam?
A. No, it was an apple.

Q. Where do mermaids go to see movies?
A. The dive-in .

Q. Why did the dolphin cross the beach?
A. To get to the other tide.

Q. What do you get if you run over a bird with a lawnmover?
A. Shredded tweet.

Q. What goes tick tick woof woof?
A. A watch dog.

Q. What kind of dog does Dracula own?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do you call a hippie's wife?
A. Mississippi.

Q. Why did the baker quit making doughnuts?
A. Because he got sick of the hole business.

Q. Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance?
A. Because it was a moth ball.

Q. How do you keep a snake from striking?
A. Pay it decent wages.

Q. Where would you weigh a whale?
A. At a whale-weigh station.

Q. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A. Pumpkin pi.

Q. What do you call a stolen yam?
A. A hot potato.

Q. What kind of flowers does everyone have on their face?
A. Tulips.

Q. Can you name the four seasons?
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and ketchup.

Q. How are people like a teabag?
A. They are no good until they've been through some hot water.